I'm awake

I get these phone calls and my whole world is shaken up.

Although I no longer claim his love and so much time passes between each time we talk, a piece of that man will always live within me and I will always cherish it. So, when I hear him breaking down i feel my heart drop as well although there is nothing I can do to help. I just can't go there.

Despite the turmoil, despite the pain, love just doesn't ever leave completely, as far as I'm concerned. And that troubles me because what am I supposed to do until I find that one that stays solid forever? I don't want to hold onto pieces of many different relationships but at the same time I must explore and I do enjoy becoming close to different men. Ahhhh, Love leaves me so confused!!

After all, Love is a beautiful thing. But it's always a multi-tasking idea that can bring joy, pain, ache and organisms all at once. And I feel so sensitive to all  that and it scares me.
Maybe I'll finish this later. For now I'm out! PEACE

Words bring clarity

The truth hurts, but lies create illusions and I'd rather see clearly than stumble into stupidness.

word****

The Best I've Ever Felt

So, I'm a moderately athletic person and have enjoyed being sporty since I started gymnastics, swimming and dancing all around the age of 4.

My mother kept me really involved as a young child and increased the level of my activities when I was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at age 7. I started practicing competitive gymnastics shortly after, practicing 3-4 days a week for 2-3 hours. I was very strong, flexible and had a six-pack at age 8.

Fast-forward to high school when I stopped competitive gymnastic and said hello to fat. I didn't really recognize it at the time, but taking away those intense workouts every other day sure put some weight on my short and muscular body. And each year it just got worse. I was still active; participating in a year-round volleyball club and swimming during the Spring season but it just didn't compare to the gymnastics regime.

Then, college came and birth control put on the pounds as well as that horrible curse of the "Freshmen 15."
I was upset about my weight, it constantly put me down, but I never did enough to subside the gains.

That was me then. I am a completely different person inside and out and so happy to say that I throughly enjoy exercising and losing weight is the best feeling I've ever had so i thought I'd share some thoughts with you.

I think you have to find a great reason as to WHY you want to lose the weight.
Mine derives from many perspectives.
Fashion is my #1 passion and I wanna look my best in the clothes I so love to shop for.
I also think that when you appear to control your weight and show respect for your body, colleagues and professionals will take a deeper look at your other positive qualities and will have a feeling of physical impression to absolutely remember.
I LOVE men, the sexier the better, and sexy men love sexy, fit women!
God gave me this body and I SHALL admire it.
I have to face the fact that I am a diabetic and when I'm physically active, dealing with the disease is 100 times easier and diabetes is NEVER easy. I gotta do what I can.
When I don't exercise, I have like 1 million pimples.
I hate the feeling of guilt and when I don't exercise, every time I eat I feel guilty.

So find your reason/reasons and get to work. The hardest part comes early on but the results are soooooo fulfilling, eventually the pain subsides. Also, try different methods and switch up your routines to keep your mind and body craving more!!!

Please, please share the feeling of accomplishment and enjoy taking pictures so much more with me!!!
Have a wonderful day and PEACE!!!