Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you always imagined- Thoreau

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Kerman/Long Beach, Cali Bebe
I generally have interesting days and always an interesting outlook, so as a writer with just a resume...here goes everything...

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I'm working on creating my life. This is the beginning of the conscious tip because life is not about finding yourself, but creating yourself.

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

How I've improved myself and what the implications are


Lately I have been paying close attention to the way people react to me in efforts to improve my being so I can love the woman I’ve become. I’ve realized that using other people’s perspective’s as a judgment for myself is a unique way to get to know me and grow me. It has helped me pay attention to the words and tones that come out my mouth as I focus on the reactions from my peers and also their responses. This, in turn, helps other people learn to love me and that is just plain amazing. Let me further explain my theory…

Sometimes, you may think what you are saying makes sense or perhaps you talk without thinking often and then become misunderstood and/or confused about why people have reacted negatively. But, when you focus on the specific manner of your speech and words, you really began to notice details about your character, the good and the bad. This helps you grow and learn more about how you act and those you surround yourself with.  

See, as you pay attention to the communication in your life, it is easy to understand and convey your thoughts appropriately. This leads to a better form of communication on all levels and we all know how useful it is to have good communication skills.

Since practicing this idea of being morally conscious and aware of who I am and how I am received, I am proud to say that my responses from others seems to be very positive. This optimism I’ve been noticing has really given me the confidence to believe in myself and strive to discover my dreams.

I use the word “discover” because my goals and ideas of what it means to live out my “dreams” has never been a clear thought. I have many passions and can imagine being successful in multiple areas of business. I also am continuing to evolve and gaining interest in many more things as I grow older so my options are appearing even more endless.

I love working with children and can be a very positive influence on children/young adults of all ages. I have learned this through the substitute teaching I have been doing full-time for 3 months and from the work I’ve done with children in the past. I seem to have a very acute sense for finding a way to relate to many different types of personality/lifestyles/educational levels. Most students, even the troublemakers, have seemed to respond pretty well to me overall.

I am also very interested in fashion and have been for as long as I can remember. I have been complimented and commended for my style for years now and I can imagine myself in retail, then working my way up to a buyer position for one of my favorite departments stores like Macys, for example. I also think I would be a great manager because I know I am easy to approach, enjoy finding strengths in others and am a very hard worker.

Then there’s my writing passion, which I followed throughout college, earned a journalism degree and have envisioned myself doing since first grade. I love being involved with the media and really believe that my idea of ‘journalism” is idealistic, positive and moves away from the mundane pattern we’re so used to seeing. I want to conduct interviews, highlight special events, travel the world and tell people about it, take pictures and write captions and maybe even review a major fashion show.

I also would love to work with an environmental group, perhaps teaching business and individuals how to recycle and move into a “green” lifestyle. I am passionate about treating and caring for this Earth and I would find great joy in knowing I am making a difference in savoring this beautiful planet.

Have I mentioned radio? I would love to be a radio personality. I even have experience and have such a passion for music but really want to open up the ears of radio listeners to music that isn’t “popular.”

Music, music, music. My biggest passion overall. Maybe I can find a way to introduce all these thoughts into some career surrounding music. I could be a radio deejay that interviews musicians, continue to update listeners on all things green and travels the world giving speeches to students about recycling, then writing articles about those experiences.

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Anyways, I just wanted to share my idea that has lead to so many others ideas and maybe I’ll get some feedback to help me make some decisions.



Saturday, May 8, 2010

BE kind.

I have always had a very sensitive spot in my heart for people getting picked on in a demeaning way. Since I was young, I remember feeling sad for the chubby boy in 3rd grade and also the boy who talked like a girl. I don’t recall ever being in a position where I defended them, but I pledged to never be the person making them sad but the one who made them feel better after the bullies ceased.

In middle school, however, I do remember being a part of a group that singled out two girls that I had once been very close with. One was even family. The group of girls (including myself) I was a part of thought those two girls were immature and annoying and although no one really led the fight, as a whole we’d walk away when they approached us and talk behind their back. Eventually they got the hint and over time the whole situation became nonexistent. But the problem with a situation like that is although the daunting might eventually end, the pain and memories surely linger.  Even for me.

I think back to the way I acted to my cousin that I’d been best friends with my whole life and I really get upset. How could I have treated someone so special to me in that way? I understand that I was growing up in a slightly different direction and making many new friends, but I wish I hadn’t let that sensitive spot go astray during those years of adolescent.

When high school came, I matured back to that socially conscious stage and made an effort to always befriend the high school “crazies,” as they were known and was very friendly with the handicapped kids. I would call then by name, always wave and smile and definitely stood up for them when certain boys would try to get attention by harassing them. I remember feeling like a good person when Alice and her bff (his name has left me blank,) two kids with learning disabilities that came from poor families, would tell me how nice I was, how pretty I was and how much they liked me. Even though they weren’t the popular kids, it still felt good to hear them appreciate a simple gesture of mine, such as a genuine smile.

Now, as a substitute teacher at the same high school, I walk around and observe during class and feel such sadness because I understand that it is even easier these days for kids to get bullied. There are so many more religious traditions being practiced, like the Muslims wearing their hijab’s and Hindu’s with their turbins, pieces that definitely make those kids stand out.  

There are also a lot more migrant students with thick accents, a greater division of wealth and status and much more attention is being paid to fashion and designer wear. Sometimes it makes me wonder how these kids make it day to day and that revolts me back to such a divine appreciation for not only what I had growing up, but also who I was and will always be.

It’s nice to know that throughout my life I have always had an acute idea of right & wrong, especially when it comes to respecting others. Now, I just want to try to pass that pratice along to these younger generations. I’m not exactly sure how I’ll accomplish that aside from being a positive influence when I do substitute, but I’m searching and thinking hard enough that perhaps one day a move will come my way that will really allow me to change a child’s heart by creating that same sensitive spot in their soul that I have always had in mine.
PeaceNlove my friends.